Rules

George awkwardly scuttles into the office bathroom. Because he knows Rule No. 2, he checks the toilet paper supply before sitting down. Instantly recognizing that the available supply of toilet paper on the roll is not sufficient for the task at hand, he retrieves a new roll from under the sink. Dilemma. Should George change the rolls now, before he sits down? Uncomfortably squirming while contemplating this perplexing situation creates an urgency in the decision making and subsequent movement. YES! Change the roll...HURRY! Plop. George drops the toilet paper roll insert into the toilet. Dilemma. Should George fish the insert from the bowl with his hands or should he find a retrieval tool of some kind? Splash go his fingers into the water and then straight to the sink for a quick lather with generic anti-bacterial liquid soap. Now, finally, when it seems that further delay would be catastrophic, George sits down, confident that he has shown a great deal of foresight in following Rule No. 2, even in the face of disaster.

Dancing

She wants to watch the Vikings' game. He wants to watch Keira Knightly in "Pride and Prejudice" for the third time this week. After the first few minutes of dancing around the conflict, they remember the lesson in conflict resolution given by the husband of his sister's hairdresser, Gregorio. Compromise. They could choose to watch their preferred programming in separate rooms. They could watch the game and then the movie. They could record the game and watch it the next night. They could decide on something completely different to agree on, like say, reruns of Moonlighting. But after the second few minutes of dancing around the decision to compromise, she starts to get upset because he only wants to watch theatrical renditions of Jane Austen novels. In turn, he gets tiffy because Brett Favre shouldn't be playing for Minnesota in any case. The whole idea of compromise is out the window. After the third few minutes of bickering about completely immaterial issues, they decide to go dancing. They separate to get dressed for the festivities. He walks into the hallway wearing a tuxedo humming his favorite waltz, and she skips out, nearly bumping into him wearing cowboy boots and jeans. After the fifth few minutes of staring tight lipped at each other, he suggests they forget about dancing and just stay home to order a pizza. She agrees thinking this might be the best idea he has had all night. Smiling to himself while he calls Domino's, he doesn't seem to notice her triumphant laugh as she pulls a Pizza Hut coupon out of the junk mail pile. Its gonna be a loooooong night.